https://t.co/rdCC2lOJ43 AI is not going to solve these "human" issues.
— Paramendra Kumar Bhagat (@paramendra) June 3, 2025
I really really want to make an AI dating app.
— Julie Zhuo (@joulee) June 3, 2025
Who is working on AI dating?!
Fixing Online Dating: Why Better Design Matters More Than Better AI
Online dating is broken—not because we lack smart algorithms, but because the foundation has been flawed from the start.
Dating apps have prioritized engagement metrics over real-world outcomes. The revenue models reward addictive swiping, gamified attraction, and fantasy-driven illusions. Women often end up flooded with attention from the top 10% of men, creating an unrealistic marketplace of desire. Men, meanwhile, are stuck in message limbo—ghosted or endlessly chatting with no real dates in sight.
This hasn’t been dating. It’s been clickbait.
AI is no magic fix. A bad system amplified by AI is just a worse system. But if the foundation is healthy, AI can serve as a supportive layer—an ally, not a manipulator.
Here’s how it can work:
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Message to Meet: The only goal of messaging should be to decide whether to meet. No endless chats. No performative small talk.
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One Like at a Time: You should only be able to express interest in one person at a time. No swipe sprees. No shopping-cart dating. Intentionality matters.
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AI as Support, Not Substitute: Use AI where it can truly help: as a therapist to process dating anxiety, a coach to improve confidence and social skills, or a relationship assistant to help you reflect after a date. These are roles AI can play with empathy and discretion.
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From First Date to Second: AI can prompt helpful reflections. "How did that go?" "Were you heard?" "Were you listening?" But this only works if the app is designed to nudge real human connection, not just more app usage.
Still, let’s not forget: friends do this better. They know you. They can set you up, give honest feedback, and remind you who you are. If you don’t have a few close human connections yet, maybe that’s where the journey should begin.
Because what we need is not more AI-generated romance—but less loneliness. And for that, the solution starts with redesigning the system to be human-first, AI-assisted, and love-centered.
A New Vision for Dating Apps: Start With the Self
A truly transformative dating app won’t begin by asking who you want to date. It will start by asking: who are you?
The first role of a great dating platform should be self-reflection. Using guided questions, therapeutic prompts, and maybe even AI-powered journaling, it helps you understand your values, desires, fears, and patterns. Before swiping on anyone else, you’re swiping through yourself.
Next, it helps you explore your expectations—not just listing them, but interrogating them. Are they rooted in reality or fantasy? Are they shaped by culture, trauma, ego, or hope? And as you better understand what you’re looking for, the app gently helps you temper expectations where needed. Not to lower your standards, but to root them in mutuality, growth, and human complexity.
And here’s the magic: because the app helps every user do this—know themselves, clarify their wants, and grow emotionally—it becomes a better matchmaker. You’re not just matched by proximity or photos, but by compatible journeys.
Then, it becomes a relationship coach. After the first date, it checks in. Were you heard? Did you feel safe? Are you aligned in values or just chemistry? As the connection grows, the app grows with you—offering nudges, guidance, and even tools for resolving early misunderstandings.
In this model, dating apps stop being marketplaces and start becoming mentors. They don’t just find you a date. They help you become someone who’s ready to build a healthy relationship—and match you with someone on the same path.
That’s not just a better app. That’s a better foundation for love.
So let me be the conceptual designer of the AI dating app, you be the vibe coder. Let's build.
— Paramendra Kumar Bhagat (@paramendra) June 3, 2025
The Future of Personalized AI
— Dan Siroker (@dsiroker) May 30, 2025
0:00 - Why I’m Here
0:25 - We're Going to Crazy Town!
1:05 - Sam Altman (OpenAI CEO) on The Limits of Current Tools
4:10 - Big Reveal
5:15 - Writes Your Emails Perfectly
8:35 - AI Grocery Lists
9:15 - How This AI Made Me a Better Dad
10:53 - 45X… pic.twitter.com/MrWZCLPtEj